Parenting Sucks! Bed Rest and Crying

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jkimesBY JOANNE KIMES

Dear Joanne,

My wife is pregnant and on bed rest. What can I do to make it easier on her?

Stephen

Dear Stephen,

I was never on bed rest when I was pregnant, but it sounds like a slice of heaven right about now! Nothing to do but lay in bed all day watching my soaps, chatting on the phone, and eating things straight from the container. But the reality is that bed rest can be incredibly grueling. My advice is to surround your wife with pillows for physical support, and a laptop for mental support. Women are inherently mulit-taskers and very social, and a laptop is the key to keeping those traits alive.  From her laptop she can order things for the baby’s room, design the announcement cards, watch a DVD, and, with a digital camera, even chat with her friends (go to skype.com to set it up)! You can rent a computer if you don’t have one, but I suggest that you have one! Otherwise, your wife will be one unhappy procreating camper!

Dear Joanne,

We have a six month old that can’t fall asleep unless he’s rocked in our arms and put down fully asleep. I want to try the “cry-it-out” method but my husband says he won’t be able to hear his daughter crying and not run to her side. What can we do?

Leslie

Dear Leslie,

In my book, “Bedtime Sucks,” I have a chapter called The Zen Commandments where I discuss ways of getting your child to learn how to fall asleep by themselves. Personally, I’m a firm believer in the “cry-it-out” method, but it’s by far the most excruciatingly painful, gut wrenchingly horrible, worse-than-childbirth method that you can choose. It’s also the most effective. But it will never work unless you and your husband are on the same page. If not, you’ll resent him for being weak and running to your daughter’s side, and he’ll resent you for being evil and having no heart (he’s thinking this, not me).

If and when you both agree to give the “cry-it-out” method a try, keep in mind that the first night will be the most difficult. Shore yourself up with some dark chocolate and apple martinis. Warn the neighbors and send the older kids off to stay with grandma. After the first night, things should get easier as your baby adjusts and falls asleep faster. Then you’ll be set for a while until your baby cuts a new tooth or is up all night with a cold, and you’ll have to start the process all over again!

Joanne Kimes is the author of the bestselling “Sucks” series as well as “The Stay-at-Home Martyr.” Visit her at www.sucksandthecity.com


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Karen Young is the founder of My Daily Find.

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