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Parenting Sucks: How to Deal with Visitors after Having a Baby

Posted By Karen Young On November 23, 2009 @ 11:50 pm In Family,parenting sucks,spotlight | 1 Comment

jkimes70BY JOANNE KIMES

Dear Joanne,

I’m going to deliver my second child in a few weeks and I’m already worried about how to deal with the crowds of friends and family who want to see the new baby. When my first was born, I was overwhelmed and exhausted and that last thing I wanted to do was entertain guests. What can I do to deal with all the stress?

— Vicki

Dear Vicky,

Nothing fills a home with visitors more than having a baby. Every friend, family member, co-worker and neighbor are desperate to come over and take a peek at the new arrival.  It’s as if you’ve given birth to David Beckham and swaddled him up in a cashmere blankie. It seems these visitors want to do more than just take a peak. They want to hold your newborn with their germy hands. They want to tell you every gory detail of their own birthing story. And worst of all, they want to be fed.  Here you are fresh from the hospital with stitches on your nether region and fearing your first post partum poop, and you have assemble a gosh darn hors d’oeuvre tray!  What’s a new mom to do? Here are some ideas:

  1. Before the baby comes, get a camera for your computer and download Skype at skype.com (newer Apple computers have a camera built in).  Then you can show your baby to everyone with computer access and a camera while sitting on your donut pillow.
  2. If someone wants to visit, don’t just tell them when to come over, tell them what time to leave as well. Mention that they can only stay a half hour because you have a pediatrician’s appointment (they don’t need to know the appointment is next week).
  3. Don’t answer your phone!! The moment you do, it’s only a hop, skip and a jump from having guests at your doorstep.
  4. Put a sign on your door that says, “Please don’t ring the bell.  Baby and mommy are sleeping.”  You’ll be utterly amazed how many people will just drop by and ring your doorbell without being invited.
  5. The only exception to having people over is if they offer to bring food! I would have had Bin Laden come over if he’d have brought a bucket of chicken with him.

Joanne Kimes is the author of the bestselling “Sucks” series as well as “The Stay-at-Home Martyr.” Visit her at www.sucksandthecity.com Her latest tome, “Divorce Sucks,” with Mary Jo Eustace, the woman whose husband left her for Tori Spelling, has been making waves in the press and the book signing circuit.

Email her questions: jkimes@sbcglobal.net

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